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Helen, one word: Yellow silver solder! its all about melting points.
the gold will always eat a hole in the silver- because the silver
melts first as it flows at a lower temp and appears to eat a hole in
the metal. Yellow silver solder is the answer. it matches mostly any
gold in 9-14 karats and some occasionally in the 18 lemon yellow -
rich gold colour range. let me know if you can't get it in the UK. I
have a source (well two) here and will be happy to mail it to you.