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From: Tania
Date: Wed Sep 05 06:07:18 2007
 
     
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Hi All,

    I have just subscribed to this forum although I have been reading
    the posts and searching through the archives on and off for several
    years. 

    I hope you won't mind that I am starting my time as a subscriber by
    asking a question which really applies very much to my personal
    situation. I have come to something of a cross-road in my life and
    feel that whilst I can probably make good logical decisions there are
    people here who could add valuable experience to what I have. 

    To start with - a little about my background. I am Australian and
    have not yet had the pleasure of travelling to any other countries.
    I am 27 years old. At the end of 2000 I graduated from a course with
    a Bachelor of Visual Art in Fine Art majoring in gold and
    silversmithing. At the end of 2003 I completed honours for the same
    course. I learnt to make jewellery from an artist's perspective and
    this means that my designs are laden with concept and are often
    quite tricky to make. I guess it also means that I have a beginner's
    level of skill in many things and have no speed in any particular
    area. I comment on my skill and speed as learning in an institute of
    art the focus is on developing enough skill in any given area to
    complete any given project - it is not about becoming proficient in
    everything to allow you to later produce any design you can dream of.

    After my course I worked in the jewellery industry with a major
    NZ/Aus company for about a year in the casting section. By the time
    I left I was completely soul destroyed. The pace expected of me was
    more than I could do and no one seemed to want to help me so I could
    keep up. I was supposed to get training on wax injection but the 2
    specialists on wax injection were jealous of my degree and feared
    that if they trained me I would end up above them so they took it in
    turns to give conflicting information and then report to my leading
    hand that I was not picking anything up. My leading hand would do
    extremely frustrating and disappointing things like sit with me for
    a week whilst I do quality control on the cast and then the next week
    approach me and tear strips off me because the volume of quality
    control I had got through the previous day was not good enough -
    when he was sitting beside me working he didn't care to notice or
    provide guidance and when I was on my own was when he chose to let me
    have it - both barrels. I offered to stay back in my own time to
    catch up and to continue to do so until my speed was at an acceptable
    level but I was given a blunt "no" - the expectation was that from
    that day forward I would meet an undefined quantity level when
    previously I had been unable to. This kind of thing was not all. When
    I first joined the company I was told that I would be offered a level
    of pay that reflected my level of qualification and that advancement
    opportunities would be good however I was paid at the level of a 1st
    year apprentice without gaining the same qualification that a 1st
    year apprentice would and I found myself unable to even advance to a
    basic level polishing job. 

    After that job I worked for 3 months with another very small company
    that was run by a man I had been told had been bankrupt 3 times. I
    got on with my co-workers much better at this company but the owner
    of the company made a point every day to chastise me and fellow
    co-workers about lack of productivity - it was the same thing again -
    I could not meet productivity expectations which also had not been
    defined. That company had a revolving door and I left 3 months later
    around the same time as the guy who started a week before me and
    another that started 2 weeks after me. 

    On top of these experiences both companies had a blatant disregard
    for safety - for example, in the first company it was not until a
    jeweller lost an eye in an accident with a flexi that the company
    provided safety glasses or even provided any safety equipment. At the
    second company the noise was extreme and I provided my own ear plugs
    and safety glasses and was criticised and made fun of by the owner
    and leading hand for wearing both. 

    In the end I decided the jewellery industry was not for me and walked
    away from it for good. By the time I walked away I was soul-destroyed
    and had no self-confidence left. I had a good typing speed so I did
    temp work in data entry for the next couple of years. Finally, one of
    the places I did temp work at offered me a permanent job. It is where
    I'm working now and it is a government department. With my strong
    work ethic and other good qualities management saw in me I progressed
    through the ranks very quickly and have been sitting in a mid level
    job for about the last 6 months. Unfortunately I have ended up in a
    job that used to be done by two people and have not been coping -
    frequent meetings with management did not resolve the issues.
    Finally, I ended up taking several days of sick leave as I had become
    so stressed and anxious by my job that every moment outside work my
    mind was consumed with my job and one day when I was getting ready
    for work I just broke down and started crying - I could not handle
    going to work again and going through it all again - having my hands
    tied behind my back by my department then having to represent it
    favourably to the public, having to personally take responsibility
    for the department's shortcomings because I was not allowed to let
    the public know what was really going on and knowing that I had the
    futures of innocent people in the community in my hands - that my
    decision to stay back and do an extra four hours every day on my own
    time, or not, would have a huge impact on people's lives. 

    Right now I am on a break from work. I negotiated to take the annual
    leave that I had accrued which came to four weeks. I am halfway
    through that time and still finding that it is hard to shift out of
    stress-mode. Very small things stress me and make me anxious - even
    though I am conscious that situations aren't, or shouldn't be
    stressful, my body reacts as though it is - gritting teeth,
    tightening of neck and shoulder muscles, headaches, avoiding contact
    with people, etc, etc. 

    I am now trying to come to peace with the situation and see where I
    can go to from here. I don't think my current job is the right one
    for me... but the honest truth is that I cannot see what would be
    the right job for me. I have worked for so many employers by now and
    keep feeling like I have to leave in the end - very few employers
    provide a safe work environment, fair levels of pay and a reasonable
    workload... and those that do can pick and choose whoever they want
    as employees - I am no one special... without further study I don't
    believe I can become the kind of employee who can get a fair deal in
    a workplace. But, please be aware - I am not saying that I am in a
    different situation to anyone else or that I am hard done by - I am
    just noting my observations. And, I think my observations are
    important to be aware of in terms of the facts of my personality - I
    am shy, timid, a slow but thorough worker, I am intelligent and good
    at problem solving but I am very highly sensitive. And that last
    point is really relevant now - I think if I were not so sensitive I
    would not have broken down so badly from stress... but I did. And
    I'm trying to figure a way forward from here - I'm trying to find a
    future that is gentle on me because for me it is now down to what I
    need to do to survive - at least until I get stronger. 

    And, the reason I am here writing about all of this is because my
    long term goal is to be self-employed as an artist/jeweller and it
    has occurred to me that now might be the time to start towards that
    end - to start in a very basic way. I have come to the realisation
    that nothing will happen if I sit around thinking about the best way
    to approach things so I have decided, tentatively, to do something
    starting ASAP. I usually make complex, one off pieces which I
    thoroughly love doing but which rarely sell for what they are
    worth... also, at this point with stupid little things like opening
    the mail causing my body to respond like it is anxious I just know I
    don't have the capacity to work on complicated designs. So, I have
    thought about setting my mind to making earrings using sterling
    silver and beads - I am sure you all know the type of jewellery I am
    talking about. I know there is a level of skill involved and I know
    I will have a learning curve but I already have the tools I need and
    am good at using them. 

    I have ordered enough Czech glass beads and silver to make about 100
    pairs of earrings. I really want to work with gem beads but I thought
    I would start with something less expensive whilst honing my skills
    and seeing if it's what I really want to do. My plan is to try to
    make enough "stock" to have a stall at one of the busier weekend
    markets. I have invested a bit of money in the beads and silver but I
    feel it is a very small risk to take even though I have no idea if it
    will pay off. 

    I have a lot of questions and insecurities buzzing around in my mind
    at the moment and my whole body is full of nervous energy as I post
    this - I suppose it is all part of the condition of still being in
    the process of unwinding from stress. I wonder if you folks could
    help by talking about your own experiences and observations. I know
    that some of my ideas of going forward with this will conflict
    wildly with your own ideas.... like, I have observed at the weekend
    markets that many people seem to have an absolute upper limit of
    about $50 (Aus) to spend on any one item - they go to the markets for
    bargains. I know even that is below what many of you consider
    acceptable price points. But, I also know for earrings that are not
    gold and diamonds friends, family and co-workers will happily,
    without thinking, spend $20 (Aus) or $30 (Aus) but more starts to be
    an issue. I am thinking of trying to get people on a price point that
    they don't have to think about and I'd be inclined to price earrings
    with glass beads around $30 (Aus) or with gemstone beads around $40
    (Aus) each. Anything with additional elements like sawpierced shapes
    would be priced upwards a bit. I know to start in this kind of
    business area I have to start small and with fairly modest
    expectations... but, does what I'm proposing seem realistic? It has
    also occurred to me that I could start by losing money but at least I
    could have a chance to test my "products" on a particular type of
    "customer" and get a better feel for what people are willing to spend
    on what. Hopefully after getting feedback I could refine what I'm
    doing so that I can move from loss to profit. I will be doing all of
    this whilst working a job, probably part time, which may or may not
    be with my current employer. So, with the security of the day job I
    think it would be okay to risk making a loss for a while... although,
    the aim is to get away from depending on someone else for my income
    so I would want to turn it around as quickly as possible. 

    Also, I have concerns over suppliers. I decided to order my beads
    from an Australian company this time that claimed to be a wholesaler
    and had more variety in colours and sizes than any other Australian
    company I could find. I was disappointed to hear from the supplier
    that a lot of the items I've ordered they have run out of stock for
    and for others they can only partly fill the order. They have also
    told me that they have no immediate plans to restock. I wonder if
    anyone has any good, reliable suppliers whose details they wouldn't
    mind sharing? I would be happy to order from an overseas company. 

    I guess the real question is one that can't be answered definitively
    but I will ask anyway - Am I doing the right thing? (Am I heading in
    the right direction? Is my reasoning sound? Will this get me one step
    closer to my goal?) 

    Thank you kindly for reading this very long-winded post and I look
    forward with anticipation to any replies that might result. 

Tania
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