[Jewelry making - Article 01783] - Re: [Orchid] Posted Repair Policies

[David Phelps]

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    We jokingly refer to this as a customer having read "The Book". It
    seems as though someone, somewhere has written a book on how to take
    advantage of your local jeweler. The following are some of the
    excerpts we have been able to derive from the behavior of those that
    we think have read it. 

    "Rule Number One: "If you can get your jeweler to even just touch
    your jewelry, you have them! If they do any repair on your jewelry
    (even clean it for free), and a stone comes out five years later,
    insist that it is their fault ('There was nothing wrong with it
    until YOU worked on it!' is the recommended phrase, just ignore the
    incongruity of this statement - they will find it impossible to
    argue with your superior logic). Demand that they replace the lost
    stone with a larger stone of higher value (whatever they show you,
    just say 'No, it was bigger than that'). Also insist that while they
    are at it, they should do any other repair work necessary (at no
    charge to you, of course). This rule applies whether you paid for the
    original work or not and also whether you had any recommended work
    done or not. (F.Y.I. - NEVER pay your jeweler do the work they
    recommend. They are just trying to rip you off and it is not required
    to enforce this rule anyway) Ignore any posted warrantee policies.
    They do not apply to you. They are only for the little people and
    those that don't know as much about jewelry as you do. 

    "Rule Number Two: If your jeweler sizes your ring, it should fit you
    perfectly for the rest of your life, whether you bought it from them
    or not. If it ever becomes too tight or too loose, or even if you
    decide to wear it on a different finger, insist that they must have
    measured your finger incorrectly with that ring sizing thingy. Demand
    that they make it fit you properly, like they should have done in the
    first place five years ago. Do not take "No" for an answer, and do
    not pay anything for this. To do so would only show weakness and
    demonstrate that you can be reasoned with. 

    "Rule Number Three: If your jewelry ever becomes slightly discolored
    for whatever reason, or makes a mark on your skin and/or clothing
    accuse your jeweler of using inferior metal or even of not using
    precious metal at all. Explain (in as loud a voice as possible) that
    you saw a show on TV or read an article in 'Wealthy People Quarterly"
    about how jewelers use this new kind of metal to rip off people that
    are not as smart as you are. It looks and feels exactly like white
    gold or platinum but is so inexpensive that the manufacturer actually
    pays jewelers to use it. You think they may have used this fake metal
    when they made or repaired your jewelry. Why else would it be turning
    or getting scratched on the bottom? This is a very useful technique
    for getting your white gold jewelry re-rhodium plated for a reduced
    cost or even for free. A great thing now that rhodium is so
    expensive. It also re-opens the door for enforcement of Rule Number
    One. 

    "If all other rules fail and you cannot get your new piece of
    jewelry for free, accuse the jeweler of switching your diamond. This
    one gets 'em every time! Explain that it was your Great Grandmother's
    and that it was over a hundred years old and was a Flawless
    Blue-White Ideal Cut Russian Diamond of Museum Quality. Every other
    jeweler that has ever looked at it tried to buy it from you, but you
    knew what it was REALLY worth and wouldn't sell it. This invariably
    will leave them gasping for air and fumbling for an explanation of
    why this is not really a possibility, but it will put you in the
    enviable position of being able to demand anything you want. Mention
    your local TV News expose' reporter's name (or that your
    brother-in-law is a lawyer) in your demand, and again, do not take
    "No" for an answer. If they try to tell you that they did an
    examination when you brought it in, ignore this. They can't prove it
    to your satisfaction, right (wink-wink)? Tell them they lied then,
    knowing that they were going to switch it as soon as they saw it. Use
    the word 'Lawyer' again, if they insist. As with most other rules,
    timing is everything. If you back off at exactly the right moment,
    you can get almost anything you want. Your jeweler will be so
    relieved that you're not going to sue they will actually be happy to
    do some free repairs. If you play it right you may even be able to
    get a free appraisal out of the deal. Use the diamond-switching
    technique sparingly. Unlike Rules Number One and Two, it can only be
    used once per jeweler. 

    "If you use these rules, you may not be able to get everything you
    want, but you will certainly get more than you could if you just walk
    in (like a sap) and act in a reasonable manner. Remember that your
    jeweler (just like everyone else) is really only out to rip you off,
    so you must beat them to the punch. The biggest and most powerful
    secret of all is that they just hate for anyone to be unhappy with
    anything they do and will do practically anything to make you happy,
    especially when they find out just how rich you are and how smart you
    are about all of this jewelry stuff, and if they think you might tell
    your friends that they tried to rip you off. This weakness will
    actually keep some of them from sleeping at night. Use this valuable
    information to your advantage and get that jewelry work done for
    free!" 

    Fortunately, the actual number of people that have read "The Book"
    is very few. If anybody has a copy of this book, I would sure like to
    look at it. 

Dave
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