[Jewelry making - Article 00602] - Re: [Orchid] Jeweler's jokes anyone?

[Refined Designs]

========[ Invite a Friend - http://www.ganoksin.com/invite.htm  ]========


    After reading Daniel and Mona's clever puns, I had to send this
    along. It's a piece I saved from the August 1, 1994 issue of
    National Jeweler, written by someone named Troy Finegold, and I just
    got permission from them to print it here. Hope you get a chuckle or
    two out of it! Here goes... 

    I remember it like it was yesterday. The call came in late one jet
    black night. A former blues star named Sapphire was missing. She'd
    last been seen at a cheap little place called the Cinnabar. Of
    quartz, this was the kind of case I had quite an apatite for. I
    fired up my topaz and headed right over. 

    The boule at the door looked pretty rough. I made him to be a former
    boxite. He'd been hard, but dumb as an onyx. He'd fought under the
    name Sugarite Leonard. Once he'd been a contender, now he just
    looked jaded. 

    I looked past him to the hostess, Pearl. 

    Pearl was cultured but liked to string men along. She didn't like
    guys who were freshwater. With her it was best to just clam up and
    act natural. Then mabe shell take you home to meet her momme. If you
    know what I mean. 

    "You look lustrous tonight," I said. 

    "Abalone," she replied. 

    "Where's the boss?" I asked. 

    "You mean Jasper?" 

    I scanned the room. There in the back was the boss. Now, I'd red
    Jasper to be an agate, but he was clustered with some real gems. 

    On his left was Ruby, who always showed a lot of Thai. On his right
    was Diamond. She was a real contradiction: flawless but all
    cleavage. 

    "Glad to see you," I muttered. 

    "I2," she replied. 

    The lights dimmed, and the entertainment started. It was Anneal
    Diamond, backed by a former wedding band, doing a Stones Medley.
    They were playing "Sympathy for the Bezel." 

    Then I saw her. 

    It was Sapphire standing behind the mica phone singing backup. The
    band finished with a brilliant version of "Rolling and Tumbling" and
    took a break. 

    I didn't want to be rutile, but I walked right up. 

    "You're harder to find than a Chatham Diamond," I quipped. 

    "Yehuda think you're talking to?" she shot back. 

    "You've been missed, and I'd sodalite you to come with me." 

    Sapphire diffused to listen. In fact, I could tell that she was
    getting irradiated. She motioned to the boule at the door, and he
    was on me like a cheap doublet. 

    He drilled me hard and opened up a culet over my fisheye. I kicked
    him in the strontium. He screamed something obsidian. A melee broke
    out, and someone called the coppers. 

    Everything got crazed as I grabbed Sappgire and headed out the
    door., 

    "Iolite your style," she said, obviously no longer verneuled with
    me. 

    "Are you Ceres?" I asked. 

    We haloed a cabochon. She sat on my lapis. 

    We spent the rest of the night at my place getting louped.


____________________________________________________________________
T h e   O r c h i d   L i s t
Open Electronic Forum for Jewelry Manufacturing Methods and Procedures
____________________________________________________________________
Orchid FAQ:
~ http://www.ganoksin.com/orchid/faq.htm
Orchid Archives:
~ http://www.ganoksin.com/orchid/archive
Orchid Galleries:
~ http://www.ganoksin.com/orchid/gallery.htm
Invite a Friend:
~ http://www.ganoksin.com/invite.htm
____________________________________________________________________
Tips From The Jeweler's Bench - Article Archive
~ http://www.ganoksin.com/borisat/tip_sear.htm
The Jeweler's Selected Bibliography List
~ http://www.ganoksin.com/jewelry-books
Buy Orchid Jewelry:
~ http://www.ganoksin.com/shop
____________________________________________________________________
-Unsubscribe:
-Email: orchid-request AT ganoksin.com Body=unsubscribe subject=blank
____________________________________________________________________