[Jewelry making - Article 00926] - Re: [Orchid] Jobs that you want to run screaming from?

[David L. Huffman]

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>         Does anyone have some good stories about "the one that got away
>     because I sent it packing" stories? 

    Hi Cynthia and all; I've got so many after 30 years in this business
    that I can't remember them all.  The charms for genital piercings,
    which I declined to fit for the customer were unsavory, but here's
    one that was disturbing as well as just gross.  Guy comes in with a
    45 caliber slug, nicely mushroomed on the end. Says he had it removed
    from his leg (where his brother shot him) and wanted it mounted in a
    ring.  It still had bits of flesh on it.  And I've learned to be cool
    as a cucumber when someone comes in and fishes the stud earring out
    of their nostril piercing and blithely hands it to me to clean. 
    I've known of people who wanted chains permanently soldered on their
    wrists (and one "professional" woman who had one soldered around her
    waist) but these are anecdotes from other jewelers.  I'd have
    suggested rivets.  I've flush set diamonds and rubies into gold
    dental crowns.  This is done, obviously, before they are in the
    customer's mouth.  I always seal the stone with a thin rim of watch
    crystal cement before burnishing the metal down on the stone, to keep
    the back of the stone from becoming dirty and thus dulling it's
    glint.  One of the most unusual requests came from a couple who had
    gotten their "wedding rings" in the form of tattoos where  metal
    rings would be worn.  I duplicated the tattoos in yellow and white
    golds for them to wear over the tattoos.  For technical challenges, I
    had a guy wanted to wear his 18K Rolex Presidential on an 18K clip
    bracelet, pave on all surfaces with 0.15 carat diamonds.  The watch
    (minus the original band) had to be removable for maintenance.  I
    forged the clip from heavy sheet and pierced a sort of saddle for the
    watch to rest in.  On either side was an outer shell, covered, nay,
    slathered with diamonds, which covered the 18K bracelet and anchored
    the watch.  These shells were drilled and tapped and held on with
    dozens of counter-sunk gold screws so they could be removed for
    cleaning and the watch removed.  I had to warn the guy not go
    swimming with it on or they'd have to dive in a pull him out before
    the watch weighed him down and drowned him (hyperbole, obviously).  I
    lived in Detroit at the time, so you can sort of get the character of
    some of my customers, and maybe guess how some of them made their
    money. ;-)  I bet some of our folks who've worked in L.A. have some
    stories along these lines. 

David L. Huffman

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